Every lunch time, I suddenly feel claustrophobic. Why? Because every lunch time at school, we join to round tables. Do you think that's enough for roughly 10 people? Some can't even place their food on the table! it's not just during lunch time. During outings as well. We rarely go out anymore. I'm not used to having more than the original number. Sure it was fine at first, but there are some circumstances when you've had just about enough of it.
I have typed a lot of these before, but never had the actual courage to post them in the internet, especially since the people who can read this are my friends. But for now I will swallow those feelings that are stopping me. I need to get this out of my system.
As it turns out, I am not the only who feels "out of place" during lunch time. One person keeps on inviting others, making the group bigger. Maybe she just doesn't see that the bond that holds our group together is slowly loosening. And I don't have the guts as well to act like everything's is fine. Two original members of our small group has left, and I'm the next one to do so as well. it doesn't mean that we're not friends anymore. No. I just want to meet more people. Make my world bigger for a change. I've been used to staying in one corner all my life, and I think it's finally time for me to stand up.
It may be a bad idea, but I think I'm doing the right thing. I just hope that we can all hang out again, just talk and do other whatnot somewhere... that is, before I leave.
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