...

I have absolutely no idea on what I really want to type here. Things inside me are going haywire as of the moment. My eyes are swollen, I get this funny tingle on my back that won't go away.. I hate it when I cry.

Sigh. And you know what's weird? I have absolutely no idea on what I am crying about. Maybe because of these confusing things inside my head, or that if all things go well, in a month or so we'll be leaving for Canada. I'm not quite sure. It's like these things in my head just mixed into one big blob and they're trying to find a way out through my tear ducts.

Sigh. And I'm not allowed to vent these feelings into anything else. I'm not the type to randomly get angry at people. I'm also not the type to actually cry in front of others especially if its my problem (i tend to cry when I see someone crying. don't know why really...) I also don't cry when I'm under pressure, so here. Blogging, and crying silently is what these emotions do to me. Though I blog rarely. And I haven't cried in a while until tonight. And I feel the need to be happy every single day so that no one will ask what's wrong (not that anyone cares).

Oh boohoo. My emo side is suddenly coming out. let's all slash our arms because we don't have actually guts to cut our wrists! Yey!

Oh here I go again. My thoughts are all messed up. I can't seem to think straight. Can't I press a button on my brain to reset?

Ah yes, I feel stupid reading the previous entries on this boring, old (well, not that old) blog of mine. Why do I even bother placing it here?! I have a journal, but I never write on it.

What is with me and keyboards! I can't even write a goddamn story on a piece of paper anymore! It's my thumbs that doing all the thinking (since I usually type on my phone).

Ah hell, I think it is best for me to sleep for the night. It's quite late, and my curfew is 10, 45 minutes ago. Haha. Got to sleep an hour later since my father is snoring loudly on his bed! >:)

for now, I'll try to get some shut eye. I'm afraid my eyes will be swollen tomorrow though. Then I'll get teased by the people at home again. Ah fuck. I shouldn't have cried.