Why can't I ignore the feeling that I've been replaced?

But oh well. Everything will be all right. I'll just have to keep to myself till graduation and save myself from this annoying thing. Emotions could be really annoying. I wanna take them out of me so that I'll be able to think logically without it. I'm just a romantic without romance. I keep to myself. I hate the fact that I'm just sitting here. But it's all I could do.



For now, I'll just have to distract myself in anyway possible, chatting with random people, worrying about school and devoting myself to it, reading, writing, and other whatnot.


I know that my friends will be happy even without me. They tell me that they miss me, but I know. I probably do know that these are just words. I can't do this. I'm not strong.... I wanna see them. I keep telling myself that I can do well on my own but I can't. I can't just ignore this anymore. I think I need a shrink to talk this out, mainly because I have no one to talk to... It's lonely. I'm not able to bottle up these emotions. They're just fighting their way out. I wanna see my friends. Their my stress reliever. If I still had alcohol, I'd probably try to drink myself to sleep, but I don't. I say to Roxanne always that she has to learn how to live without her friends, but I keep on telling it aloud to myself... I cant do this anymore. One month and I'm breaking apart...


I'm desperate for distractions. It helps. And music. loud rock.



I just can't stand being alone with my thoughts. They all come back to me.

Amnesia is better than what I feel right now.
Call me emo, fine. I don't care, but I won't go so low to cut my own wrists. That's just stupid.